Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Sitting in the parkin lot

The title isn't just figurative. I'm siting in the parking lot waiting for my MRI. (So forgive me if there are any typos! :-P)

I going to get a little poor pitiful me here for a bit, just a warning.

I feel like my life is sitting in a parking lot right now. My husband is on terminal leave from the Marine Corps, his last day being the day after our 3rd wedding anniversary, the day before Monks 13th birthday. I have no idea where we will get enough money to pay all our bills and keep our household rolling. He keeps saying that his disability will cover most of it, but what about the rest?

He has plans for us to move to Raleigh and him to go to NC State, but he's not thinking about about the house we have to sell before we can buy another one. He's not thinking of the TWO houses on our steet that have sat for a year and not sold yet. He's only thinking of where he wants to be, not how to get there. Its like trying to get to a city on the other side of the river, but no plan on how to cross it.

I feel like I have failed here lately. That I've missed a very important step somewhere. Have you ever built anyting from IKEA? I feel like my life is an IKEA desk and I've forgotten to put a screw in somewhere. I look okay, but really I'm only a telephone book way from falling apart.


So, my MRI wet okay. I was dehydrated so they had to stick me 4 times to even get a vein to put the contrast in. I'm hoping that they can pin point more accurately what is going on. I have an appointment with another doctor tomorrow, so I hope they get him the scans by then, tho it is for somthing different, I don't think they would mind getting the results back sooner than later.

Monk should be home any tim now, and then Bug, and then we can start a 4 day weekend! Wooo!


The Bug said...

I'm so sorry you feel that way. We're a paycheck away from disaster our own selves - I know how it feels to have the low level anxiety all the time.

Hope the MRI helps - & that it points the way to a cure. I'm having an ultrasound on Monday - they found something in my left breast at my mammogram last week. I had the same thing with my right breast last year & it turned out to be benign cysts so this year I'm not even freaking out.

I think I'll say a little prayer for the BOTH of us!

Molls @ O hushed October morning mild said...

trust me, I understand this so much more then you know. Only replace husband with MC and having no idea when the rug will be pulled out. I am so scared and sick of living day to day and not knowing what the future will bring. But worse is seeing what it is doing to Stephen :(
I understand you on the house thing though. We have 5 for sale and 2 just way undersold and we had one go as a foreclosure so that hurt the neighborhood bad. Then we have the crazy people next door trying to sell theirs for twice what it is worth. Awesome.
When do you want to run away to Mexico together? :)