Monday, May 28, 2012

Monday Weigh-In

So, Memorial Day BBQs weren't too kind to me this weekend. I SHOULD have just listened to my body and quit eating, but I feel OBLIGATED to eat what people offer me sometimes.

I weighed in at 205 even.

I was weighing in on Wednesday and Thursday at 204, but, like I said... BBQs weren't nice to me this weekend!

It's okay tho. I lost instead of gained, and that's a step in the right direction! :-)

Monday, May 21, 2012

Monday Weigh-In

So, since I didn't really get any exercise in, I didn't expect to lose any weight... especially since I cheated a bit with some dark chocolate this week. (Okay and a glass or two of koolaide... and a glass of lemonaide at church yesterday... just keepin it real!)

But I did!! Of course, it's not a huge amount... but... it's a small step for man kind! :-D

I weighed in this morning at 206.4 so I lost just over half a pound.

I AM starting 30 Day Shred this morning tho.

Sam went to Pensacola this week for work. The first day or two I really miss him, but after that, I'm okay. This seems like it's going to be a regular occurring thing. He said that they have a few more weeks here at LeJeune, then they go to Quantico, then I think he said back to FL, then Pendleton!

He told me that there is a fitness room and a pool at his hotel, so he would start some light workouts, which is a HUGE step for him! I kinda feel bad for Sam, because when he was growing up they didn't have any money for family vacations or anything like that. Then when he got into the Marine Corps... they don't stay in hotels! LOL So, this has really been the first time that he's every really gotten to stay any place nicer than Uncle Bobs Bargain Shack. He told me how the room had a microwave, and a couch, and he could order room service! I'm sure it's the nicest room he's ever been in. We'll remedy that soon tho. :-)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Slow start

So, I know I said that I was going to do Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred every day until June 15th. Well....I lied

I didn't do it on purpose tho! I promise!

I worked out on Monday. It was an okay workout. It kicked my but like I thought it would. Then on Tuesday I had a bunch of stuff to do. One of those things included going over to the crappy trailer that Sam decided in his "time of bad decisions" that he needed, and needed to fill with furniture and whatnot. *long sigh* It turned out okay tho. We'd been needing a new couch for some time. Ours had holes in it, one side of the springs were broken, and it's been sewed up more times than a plastic surgery addict. So, we had the couch and love seat delivered to our house. That still left the problem of where to put the OLD couch and love seat. Bright idea me says OH! Lets post it on LYS.. which is like a craigslist time website for our area. We have craigslist as well, and as I was writing up the little post for that, I was inundated with requests for pictures of my free "well loved" couch. Some people never responded back after I sent the pictures, which is fine. I don't care. I mean... what do you think a free couch is going to look like? Brand new? LOL

Anyways! Someone told me that they were going to come pick it up either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, and I told them that was fine. I sent them a message yesterday morning to confirm that they were going to come pick it up... no response. I waited a while, did things that I needed to get done, whatever. Meanwhile, I had already told about 80 people that they were pending. I had one person keep pestering me about if they were still available. I told them that they were pending (again) and that if I hadn't heard back from them by 3:30 that afternoon that they could have them. I emailed the person that was supposed to have picked them up and let them know that if I hadn't heard from them by 3:30 I was going to give them to someone else. So at 3:30 on the dot, I get another message from the person asking if they had responded. I tell them they hadn't and that they could come get the couches.

They then say "Can I pick them up Friday?" O.O Are you KIDDING me?! I tell them that I need them out ASAP. They tell me "Okay, I can try and get them tomorrow after work" which is fine.. whatever. Later that evening, I get ANOTHER call about them. I told them that someone was supposed to pick them up tomorrow (Thursday) around 7, but if they didn't show up that I would call them. She said that she would be more than happy to come right over and pick them up.

One way or another, these couches will NOT be in my house this weekend!

Monday, May 14, 2012

So, here's the truth...

I'm fat.

Yes... I said it. I'm a fatty. Oh I know... you look at my nice little banner up there at the top and say "There's no WAY that she's fat!" Well.. that picture was taken more than 4 years ago by a great friend of mine. He was trying to build his photography portfolio and I agreed to help him out. I used to LOVE to have my picture taken... but not so much any more.

This morning I stepped on the scale at exactly 207 pounds. Egad. My scale has a weight tracker option where it gives you 4, 8, and 12 week past weights. 12 weeks ago I weighed 27 pounds less. Holy CRAP! That's gaining a little over 2 pounds a week for 3 months!

Today is the day that I'm going to change that.

So, today until June 15th, I'm going to do Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I've had luck with that one before. It's a 20 minute work out, 27 if you could warm up and cool down. I can do that between getting Austin off to school and waking Jillian up to get ready. I'm going to cut out all soda and juice. Water (and milk) only! I'm not going to add sugar to things. (Unless the recipe calls for it... like bread) No more sweets!!!!! After my initial 30 days, I'll be moving on to TurboJam. After that, hopefully I will be able to afford TurboFire! I REALLY like TurboJam, but, until I can get myself back into a routine of eating right, working out, and housework, I need the short, sweet, bust your chops workouts.

I'm not a big fan of "Lets cut out fat!" and all that stuff. I would rather lose weight eating better, than replacing my foods with chemicals. I'll still drink my whole fat milk, because that's what I like, that's what my children like, and even tho Sam buys reduced fat milk, I can't stand to drink it because it has no flavor.

As soon as we get our bills under control with Sam just starting his new job... I'll be getting back on Shakeology as well.

We have a book called Eat More of What You Love and it has some really good recipes in it. Altho we haven't cooked any, I can tell by the recipes that they will be good. I'll update more when I've cooked some of them.

I don't have any good recent photos of me.. because I hate having my picture taken since I've gotten so big. There is no excuse for me to have gotten this big other than I'm too lazy to work out and eat right. I've let Sam slide under the radar one too many times when I've spotted him putting cakes, candies, and chips in the grocery cart. No more!!

I guess that's maybe why I haven't done so well in my Beachbody biz. I feel too much like a hypocrite telling people that they can lose weight and be healthy when I can't do it myself. As my Pastor always says, let your test be your testimony! My testimony starts today. :-)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

More change?

So, Sam and I had a very long conversation last night full of lots of tears on both of our parts. We are still both committed to our marriage, but with the state of our marriage at the current time, we both know that we cannot continue the way that we are going.

We have decided that instead of just completely ending our marriage, that we will try a separation and work on our issues with each other, and our issues as individuals.

I know that this decision will not be looked at favorably by some, but, it is what is best for me, and my family. Sam and I do love each other, but have lost sight of what is important, and have let things come between us.

I do thank all of you for the prayers, for the concern, and for most importantly, being there for me in my time of need.


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Changes

So, some of you, the ones that I know personally.. or that follow me on twitter/facebook.. know that my husband told me today that he wants a divorce today.

I can't actually say that this comes as a total shock, but, it still hurts a whole hell of a lot. I tried really hard at my marriage. I wanted it to work. I know I have an anger issue. I am not saying that I am perfect. I'm very far from it.

In the end, I guess all I can do is pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep moving forward. Did I ever think that this was going to happen? I had my suspicions for a while, but I had hoped that with him starting a new job in less than a week, that when he started that things would start to get better for us.

I guess that will never be now.

I've already started looking for jobs. I have some resumes out, and some friends looking for me as well. I guess we will see what happens.