Thursday, November 4, 2010

32

I know that my blog has been a little dark and twisty as of late. I apologize. I'm not usually this down and depressed. I think it's a combo of things that has been really working on me here in the last couple weeks. It doesn't really help that I'm dealing with Greggs passing either. I also know it's not fair to blame me being in a dark and twisty place on a man that isn't here any more. I'm not actually blaming him, but he sure didn't help matters any.

Today would have been Greggs 32nd birthday. Today should have been a happy occasion for his mom. Her baby boy turning 32, but instead, she has to visit a grave and lay flowers on a tombstone. It's just overwhelmingly sad to me. I know that I have a good husband who loves me so very much, but, I just can't help but feel a great sense of loss because of it. Gregg was my first love, the one that you never ever forget. I haven't. I can't.

I guess that the one thing that his passing did for me was restore a vigor in me to help those that are overweight. Gregg was always battling his weight. Even while he was in the Navy, he was overweight. He liked to drink and those extra "el-bees" really showed in the form of a pot-belly. He had such severe PTSD that he would drink to shut his mind up. It's actually quite common among vets who have such bad PTSD. It's unfortunate that the only solace he found for all of the terrible things that happened while he was fighting for this country could be found at the bottom of an empty liquor bottle. I'm more passionate about people getting in shape. I'm not even talking about fitting in size 00 jeans that need to be altered and looking like a tooth pick! I'm talking lets get our hearts pumping today! Lets be at a healthy weight for our hearts and joints. It's not healthy to carry around excess weight.

I just want to thank all of you (any of you? LOL) that take the time to read my random crazy rantings about seemingly nothing.

3 comments:

Rebecca Jo said...

I think when anyone's passing makes someone else want to help others or encourage others, its such an honor to that person...

sorry its a dark & twisty time :(

Paul said...

After all these years you still post straight from the heart. It's great to find you again Jacq, and read about your life. You have a talent for writing and I wish you and your family the best.

Paul

That One Girl said...

Rebbeca- I figure it's the least I can do for a man that had such a huge impact on my young adult life. Golly, we were near inseparable there for a while. I loved that man like it was nobodies business. If it wouldn't have been for his PTSD I would have married him almost 6 years ago.

PK- You are one of my oldest online friends. You have seen ups and downs and inside outs! I'm so glad that you found my blog again! It's amazing how we can always seem to find each other. :-)