Weight loss

So, I went to the doctor today because my back was really hurting from working out. I lost 3 pounds!! I need to work out today and tomorrow and then do my regular weigh in and tape on Monday to see if I've lost any body fat or anything. The doctor said that a good weight for me would be around 145, so, that's what I'm going to shoot for. At that weight I would need to lose a total of 50 pounds. I can do it! I think what I will do is go ahead and look for a part time job for when the kids are in school. We don't exactly NEED the money, but it would make life a little easier with some extra spending cash. I will continue on with my work outs as well. Hopefully I can find a place that will let me work these few hours and not have a problem with it. *fingers crossed*
Today, we're going to a birthday party for one of our friends kids. He turned 1 today! Hooray! They're having a small get together with some hot dogs and such. Just a little bit for today. I have so much to get done! Hopefully I will have time again on Sunday or Monday to do a better blog entry! 

Diet and Exercise

So, yesterday I started a new diet and exercise regime. Frankly, I was petrified to stand on the scales because I knew I weighed almost 200 pounds. I was always skinny when I was younger, and ate pretty much whatever I wanted, and a LOT of it! I remember my older sister coming in the door one day to me eating my after school snack, an entire pizza, and her telling me: "Some day, you're gonna get fat because you eat so much!" I told her that I would never get fat! After my first child I bounced back to within 5 pounds of pre-baby weight in a couple of weeks! By my 3rd child, I weighed right at 200 pounds at 9 months pregnant and quickly lost about 30 pounds. I was 165, and I was pretty happy about it. I didn't really care who thought I was fat, or if I was! Flash forward almost 7 years, and I have yo-yo'd between 165 down to 130 and back up to 195, which was my weight yesterday. So! I popped in my Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred workout video, and 20 minutes later, lay on the floor wishing that every muscle in my body would quit trembling! It may only be 20 minutes, but she REALLY kicks your ass!! This morning I felt pretty good laying in bed, but when I got out I felt like my legs were jello! I went ahead and worked out again today, and it felt pretty good. I'm still really sore, but I imagine in a few days it will feel much better!! Here's to getting healthy and in shape!

Little Words Wednesday

Our 2 Greyhounds Doc (brindle) and Dusty (red) after a walk and a bath. Doing what they do best, sleep!

Thinking back

So, any of you that really know me, know that Sam is pending medical discharge from the military. We're hoping that they will medically retire him, not just discharge him. It's been a very long road to get to this point, and there still isn't a real end in site. He will be 2 years past his EAS date on 1 June. That's 2 years of fighting to get the medical assistance that he needs and should rightfully have because of an injury that the Marine Corps caused, well, at least part of it. The other part we figured out after all of this started. He was also diagnosed with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) which was caused by a car accident right after he started a long weekend. He wasn't drinking, he had his seat belt on, they were pulling out from a light, and a guy ran a red light and t-boned them on my husbands side doing about 60mph. He was knocked unconscious for a while and was life flighted to the hospital. The insurance company was very surprised that Sam even lived. We figured out that all of the migraines and memory problems were from that, not "failing health." He also has PTSD from being in the worlds two most dangerous cities (at the time). I know other people from the same unit as the one he went out with last. I know some of the things that went on, I don't even have to ask. He does talk about it every now and again, and I just listen. I don't interject, I don't try to tell him that I know how hard it is, because I don't. I've never put my life on the line for the freedoms of our country, couldn't even fathom doing it for another nation a million miles away that I had only heard of in passing before 9/11!

I'm trying to be more understanding, have more patience. This is one of the hardest things for me. I am not a very patient person. I abhor waiting in line. I have the attention span of a gnat, and most of the times I forget why I'm even standing in line, which pisses me off to no end! I know that sometimes I can be very short with Sam and the kids, and that is one of the biggest things that I am trying to change. So far, I have made small baby steps towards my goal of not exploding when something isn't completed in exactly the way I want it to be done, but, any step forward is better than a step back or no step at all! Looking back, 5 years ago I couldn't really say that. Five years ago, I was nowhere near where I am now. I was still sort of small, quite young, even for being 25! I feel more like an adult now, more like I should at the age of 30. (Well, okay, 30 in June, but close enough!) I've come to accept more of my shortcomings, and realize that some of them I can overcome, some of them it's going to be a very long time before I can even scratch the surface.

On a happier note, Bug learned to ride her bike without training wheels this weekend! She did really well! She yelled at me because she didn't think I was supporting her enough when she was doing just great even without me holding her up. Sometimes I feel like I've robbed myself of my children, but really it was for their own good. Bug learning to ride a 2 wheeler is just one more step to her becoming independent and not needing me any more. I can't say that any child really ever grows to the point that they don't need their Mom. I know I still need my Mom! I wouldn't know what to do without my many frequent phone calls to her! "Mom, how do you do this?" "Mom, how do I make this?" "Mom, can you tell me where I can find this?" My Mom is a cornucopia of knowledge that if I could master half of, I will be doing great! I think that is enough for tonight dear readers. Sam is ready to go to bed, and I can't say that I blame him. The past two nights I have been up and down frequently during the night, and up before my alarm with the dogs. Any of you who know me, me without sleep is almost as bad as being stuck in a confined space with a starving bear.