Stress-- It's A Killer!

So, last month we sort of went over our budget by a lot a smidge.  And so September is going to be a bit tight for us. We will be able to make it, but, the first half of September is going to be really really tight! I hate hate HATE being low on funds. I don't like how it seems to fuel Sam and I getting into arguments. I don't like it when something comes up and we have to try and move things around so we can make things work. I don't like thinking that I'm going to miss on something really big. I don't like living paycheck to paycheck. It's terrible!

I know I shouldn't complain because we have a lot. I guess that's why we're in the mess we're in. Bad choices made in the past. I got so comfortable when I was younger always having this or that or the other. Always being able to say "Hey Mom! Can I have $5 for gas?" and three days later ask for more. Now, mind you, $5 in gas back then was like half a tank or more! *I have come to terms with the fact that I am now considered an Antique* I got used to driving new cars. I got used to always having my Momma there to bail me out when things got rough. (And by rough, I mean I spent my money on other things that I more than likely should have never bought in the first place.) In the past few years, I've done a lot of growing up. Things most people learned when they were much younger, like, how to manage your money while living on your own, I never learned. I went straight from living with my Mom, to being married. From there, you would think that I would spread my wings and learn to fly. Well, I did, kinda sorta. I learned that living away from my family isn't all that fun. I learned that having a car with no heat in Colorado just doesn't work that well. I also learned that being married to a man you really don't like doesn't make for a very successful relationship. Don't get me wrong. I loved my ex-husband, but, I think the parts of him that I loved the most were my 18 year old imagination making him into more than he really was. I can honestly say that the only thing I learned about life while married to my ex was how to stand up for myself in a fight, not back down, and that I shouldn't let people get too close to my heart. Momma was there to help me pick up the pieces. She's a great Mom. She's more of a Mom than I probably deserve.

When I moved to North Carolina, I was full of hopes and dreams that I could start over, get a fresh new life and prove to everyone that I wasn't the person that I was before. I wasn't the 26 year old little girl that my whole family knew. I can take care of myself! I'm an ADULT! Yeah. It turns out that I really was a 26 year old little girl, just like my family told me I was. But, I have learned SO MUCH from being down here. I've learned to take care of my bills first, because they really do come back to haunt you if you don't take care of them. (Even if that means eating ramen and PB sandwiches for 2 weeks.) I've learned that I am strong enough to do things on my own. (Thanks for always telling me that Momma!) And just recently, I learned, just because I want something, doesn't mean I need it. (I really don't like that one!)

I'm still learning to manage money better. Sam and I are still learning life lessons together. But what really matters is that we are a family. We're learning this together. We try to teach the kids about money, that way they don't have to take the hard road like I did. I thought the world OWED me all the nice things that my mom provided for me. I mean, I shouldn't have to work for them because I'd had them my whole life, why should it stop just because I moved out of my Mommas house?! How DARE the world not give me what I want. Yeah, I was pretty selfish. Now, when we go to WalMart or the commissary, or anywhere else really, instead of saying "Oh Mom! I want THIS!" and then begging for it until I get mad and throw it in the cart just to shut them up, they comment on things. They will say "Oh wow! Wouldn't that be nice to have?" I'll admit, they still have their weak moments where they see something that they REALLY want and will beg, but after I tell them no a time or two, they usually drop it.

As I said in one of my previous posts, I'm now an Independent Beachbody Coach. When I started this I was so gung-ho! I thought EVERYONE should be using these products and I had no qualms about telling you why and what you should be doing and where you could go to get them, to my website, of course! I still think everyone should use these products, but I'm not quite as in your face about it as I used to be. It's finally starting to pay off. I've got 2 people that are signing up to be coaches with me, and one of those already has a coach prospect! It makes me really happy that I can share the nutritional value of Shakeology, that I can tell someone about which exercise program I would suggest for them, that I can help others lose weight and be in better shape! I still have that passion about it like I did when I first started, because I know that it works. I've seen it working in me! But, I can't make everyone motivated like me. Some day they will see what wonders it's done for me, and they will want what I have, but I can't force it down their throats.

I know I've done a random, ranting post about seemingly nothing, but, it helps me to get things off my chest. That's the ultimate goal of a blog, isn't it? One of these days, I'll be able to have a blog about how great life is, about how I can devote time to sewing, and crafting, and be able to go buy Sam and the kids gifts at random times "just because." That day isn't today tho. Today, I'm cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and making the kids clean their rooms as well. I think tomorrow I'm going to sit down and make a list of things that need done on a daily basis and start a "checklist" that I can print out and hang up so I can just check things off as I do them. Some day, I'll be able to tell you guys how great life is, but right now, life is just life. A little bit stressful, a little bit not, a little bit fun, and a lot of love!

Until next time, dear reader(s), I'm going to try and see what I can do about cheaply filling my fridge on the 1st!

Schools almost out!

Well, the kids have 14 days of school left this year, and then will be out of school until late August. Ten weeks of bliss for the kids, or so they think! This summer is going to be a little different. As most of my readers know, Monkey is dyslexic, and cannot read very well. He has brought his reading level up during this school year, but, he is still a couple grade levels behind. This summer we are going "back to basics."

I had a friend of mine that home schools her children help me with some sites that I can print off worksheets to have a summer school of my own. I have signed both of the kids up for the summer reading program. We've got flashcards galore for addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division! We've got "summer workbooks" from previous years. I have educational "field trips" planned. This summer is going to be all about catching up! I know that we can do it!!

This weekend, we were a bit low on funds, and so we took time to go to Lowes to take part in their Build & Grow program. The kids absolutely love going to these! Monkey has been doing it for some time, but Bug just recently decided that she wants to be a construction worker. This week they made small catapults! It was quite the site to see Bug in her pink dress with goggles and a hammer! We spent in total about 2 hours at Lowes. We were daydreaming of what we would buy when we win the lottery. Bug has big plans for her bedroom and bathroom. She wants an antique looking bathtub with the little hand held shower sprayer. She also wants a corner shower with a frosted sliding glass door, oh, and marble counter tops! She wants her bedroom to be pink (who would have thunk it?!). Monkey says that he wants an all in one shower, but he wants it to be more modern. He wants to have a bedroom that looks like a jungle with a bed that's "in a tree." Sam and I and a large whirlpool bath and a walk in shower in our bathroom, and of course, marble counter tops. We also looked at some back yard furniture. We settled on a really nice outdoor wicker set that was actually quite comfortable! They had really neat outdoor fire places as well, tho we would want something more of a fire pit to be able to roast marshmallows and hot dogs on occasion. Outside, we spied enough trees to make our own fruit orchard! Everything from apples and pears to bananas! Along with wonderful water features, they had some gorgeous roses! If I had it my way, our whole yard would be full of roses! Finally we had enough day dreaming, and headed home.

While we were at Lowes, we also passed out some flyers for my best friends' fund raiser for her mission trip to Spain. We, unfortunately, we not able to attend because of the low cash flow. We will be donating some things to her yard sale tho! I'm sure that we have alot of things laying around that we can donate to a good cause. Of course, if we win the lottery by then, we will just donate whatever she needs, possibly what everyone needs, to be able to go.

Of course, another friend and I have decided that the aquatic snail business is where we want to be, so, we would just have to build additions to our homes to set up tanks for breeding snails and selling them! They are quite cute, and have lovely personalities! I told Sam that I would want to buy everyones house, and sell it back to them for $1. We would also donate our current home to a family that is in need. Also buy more books for the kids school, so each child can have a book, and be able to bring it home. That was one of the things that we noticed was strange about school this year. The only book Monkey every brought home was his math book! Apparently the schools just don't have the funding to be able to buy every child a book, so they share. For kids like Monkey, that just doesn't work.

See! We really deserve to win the lottery! We want to help other people, not just ourselves! I guess we will just have to continue day dreaming for now. I've got to pull myself back to reality, the buzzer on the dryer went off, and the maid hasn't materialized yet, so, I guess I should go fold clothes!